MONO Samples
This page has samples of work done so far on MONO. For a one page description of the project, click here.
To read the working text of the full piece, click here.
You are free to listen to the recordings of MONO Prelude and of Numb on-line, or to download them by right-clicking (PC) or control-clicking (Mac) on the links. (Choose "Save Link As ..." from the pop-up menu)
MONO Prelude, (video) (mp3 audio) performed by Neil Rolnick, computer and voice. From forthcoming CD on Innova Recordings.
Link to the video of Numb (Quicktime), which shows the video by R. Luke Dubois with performance by Mellissa Hughes, soprano, Caleb Burhans, violin and viola, Leigh Stuart, cello, Neil Rolnick, computer. Use this link if possible to hear Numb, since much of the text is contained in Luke's video.
Link to audio only (mp3) performance of Numb, same players as above. Listen to this if you have problems with the video link above.
Link to Quicktime video of dancers in Numb, choreographed by Sasha Soreff, taken from performance at the Flea Theater 5/2/10 at the Flea Theater in New York City, with Mellissa Huges, soprano, Cornelius Dufallo, violin, Kenji Bunch, viola and Yves Dharamraj, cello.
The text for Numb is distributed between the video and in the vocal part. I'm including the full text here. Central story was submitted anonymously. Lyrics for the Touch Song at the end were written by Barbara Blatner. The red text is what you'll hear in the recording, the black text only appears in the video.
2/28/10
Central Numbness
It’s hard to notice things you don’t notice. Patches of tactile sense loss don’t leave obvious holes in your field of information like visual blind spots would. They mostly just feel weird.
For about a year after having mastectomies because of breast cancer, plastic surgeons were working on reconstructing my breasts, including taking some tissue from my stomach. For maybe another year the pain + numbness from nerve damage slowly receded, leaving three puddles of numb skin over my breasts + belly. That territory never regained surface tactile sensation + I can’t remember a time when I stopped to think this is never coming back. It just became an unstated fact of existence that I adjusted around.
There is very little functional loss from this sensory failing, but this skin is central and vulnerable + intimate, so it’s strange to be out of touch with touch there. I can tell from pressure awareness what is happening mostly + I’m thankful to have a sexual partner who gets this + adapts to it. But if someone tickled me very lightly + I wasn’t looking, I wouldn’t know. And if I think about it, I think loss of nipple sensation is really sad. But the key is the “if I think about it” part + it is really easy to not think about an absence.
So I rarely consciously adapt to this central tactile loss. It’s kind of an eye of the storm. It’s strangely kind of vulnerable to not feel where you’re vulnerable. The blankness defies the possibilities for vigilance + the numbness highlights the exposure. Tactile sensory loss is quiet + much more about feeling than thought. When some touch moves from the felt to the numb zone I’m just reminded to be patient, that life is quirky + that there just isn’t so much control over how it goes.
(TOUCH SONG)
Touch me
touch my skin
begin
touch me
even though
I can't feel
it still
is real
touch me
I still want you that way
still want to talk to you that way
want you to answer with your loving hand,
this talk we can't refute
although my flesh is mute
I still need your hand
Touch my
belly my breast
then
all the rest
I may not
feel your hand
skin may not
understand
but touch me.
I still want you that way
still want to talk to you that way
want you to answer with your loving hand,
this talk we can't refute
although my flesh is mute
I still need your hand |
updated 7/8/2010
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